How I Discovered My Fascination with Doll Clothes

I am enamored with a web store that sells doll clothes. I know… it’s strange. I don’t have a doll. I don’t have a daughter. I don’t even dress my dog in people clothes! There is no reason for me to be enamored with doll clothes, yet I have been completely taken in since the moment I happened upon this store.

Before I say anything else about this, I should introduce you to the store. It’s www.dollcloset.etsy.com. You MUST click on it. Aren’t they AMAZING? I LOVE these clothes. I love them so much that, realizing that the absence of a doll, a daughter, or even a dog with people clothes makes it a bit strange to buy these treasures, I started forwarding the link. I forwarded it to Cathy, who I work with and who loves American Girl dolls. I forwarded it to my mother, who has three granddaughters. I forwarded it to my sister-in-law, who birthed two of my mother’s granddaughters and to my cousin, who birthed the other one. I felt it was absolutely NECESSARY that SOMEBODY else see the intrinsic value in this store AND that that somebody would be somebody who could do something about it!

Then I sat at my computer agonizing (because that is what I do with unresolved situations, even when they are minute – I agonize), thinking that there had to be MORE people to tell about this, MORE people to drive business to this woman’s store so that she would do well and continue to make these amazing clothes, and I could continue to be enamored. These doll clothes stirred so much longing in me that I even considered buying my own doll – I kid you not. Then somewhere, in the midst of my agonizing, the obvious question hit me:

So… uh… considering that you don’t have a doll or a daughter and that you refuse to dress Dora in people clothes, WHY are you enamored with doll clothes?

Good question.

It is so good, in fact, that I have spent several days considering it. It isn’t because I want a doll. (I have never in my adult life considered getting a doll until I saw this store.) It isn’t because I want a daughter. (I’m sure I’d love a daughter like crazy if I had one, but I am very happy right now and genuinely don’t feel that empty ache of childlessness.) It isn’t because my grandmother made me clothes for my cabbage patch dolls when I was a child. (She did do that, and I absolutely loved them, but she and I weren’t very close.) It isn’t because… well, you get the picture. So have my considerations gone until finally the answer hit me. Do you want to know why it is? Of course you do! It’s because I like changing dolls’ clothes, and I always have.

I think that when I look at this adorable shop and see these adorable clothes, I have this weird longing to dress a doll so that I can live vicariously through it. No, stick with me; this really does make sense! You see, I never feel put together. My house is never clean. My clothes are never ironed. I don’t blow dry or curl my hair. I don’t paint my nails or put on make-up most of the time. And as much as I try to come off as a natural hippie girl, I don’t think that is really the deepest reason for any of this. I think the deepest reason is that I just don’t feel like I can put things together well.

My cousin Bek has three children that she homeschools plus she runs a business out of her home, and at any random moment you could lick the floor in her house without so much as getting a smidgen of dust on your tongue. I don’t understand that. I can spend an entire half hour on one square of tile, and it still isn’t clean! My friend Cheryl has a wonderful knack for looking fresh. Her hair, her make-up, and her clothes are always impeccable; I’ve never seen her looking “off.” I don’t understand that, either. I feel fortunate lately if I can find a matching outfit that is actually laundered! And it isn’t that my house has never been clean or that I’ve never looked cute; it’s just that those things seem to take so much effort and energy for me – sort of like being on time, getting through my to-do list, getting the recycling out on the right night…

But oh… give me a doll, five minutes, and a cute outfit from Doll Closet, and you will see a cutie ready for a picnic at the park… or an angel waiting for her bedtime story and a glass of milk… or an excited mind anticipating a wonderful day of learning… or my personal favorite: an at-ease life looking forward to a really good time with the people she loves. Give me a doll, five minutes, and a cute outfit from Doll Closet, and for a moment, I will feel that it is okay to not be put together because something else IS, and in that moment, that will be enough.

(Incidentally, I think the parts of Christianity that really appeal to me appeal to me for the same reasons that this shop appeals to me. It calls to the parts of me that feel consistently not put together. It tells me it’s okay. It tells me that Someone else IS put together, and it tells me that that is enough.)